Best 250+ Dad Jokes vs Mom Jokes Who’s Funnier?

The age-old battle: Dad jokes vs Mom jokes—who reigns supreme in the realm of cringe-worthy, groan-inducing humor? Dad jokes are legendary for their cheesy, punny predictability, while mom jokes often hit with witty, relatable zingers that sneak up on you. This epic showdown features 250+ jokes from both sides, so you can judge for yourself.

Perfect for family parties, texting your parents, or just settling the score once and for all. Spoiler: everyone wins with a laugh.

200+ Hilarious Dad Jokes for Nurses to Brighten Any Shift

Dad Jokes vs Mom Jokes: The Showdown

Dad Jokes: The Pun Masters

Dad jokes are the undisputed champions of eye-rolls and puns. They’re wholesome, timeless, and guaranteed to make you groan before you giggle. Here’s a selection of 125 classic dad jokes:

1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
2. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
4. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
5. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go.
6. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
7. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
8. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
9. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
10. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
11. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
12. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
13. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
14. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
15. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
16. What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse.
17. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It felt crumby.
18. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
19. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
20. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
21. Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed.
22. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
23. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? Because all the fans left.
24. What do you call a line of rabbits jumping backward? A receding hare-line.
25. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
26. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
27. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
28. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
29. Why did the golfer bring an extra sock? In case he got a hole in one.
30. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
31. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
32. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
33. Why did the stadium get hot? All the fans left.
34. What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
35. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
36. What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious.
37. Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice.
38. What do you call a bear with no socks? Barefoot.
39. Why did the belt get arrested? It was holding up a pair of pants.
40. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
41. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
42. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
43. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
44. What do you call a pony with a cough? A little hoarse.
45. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
46. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
47. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
48. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
49. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? It was two-tired.
50. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
51. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
52. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
53. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
54. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
55. Why don’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
56. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
57. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She’ll let it go.
58. What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
59. Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
60. What do you call a line of rabbits jumping backward? A receding hare-line.
61. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
62. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
63. Why did the invisible man turn down the job? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
64. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
65. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
66. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
67. Why did the stadium get hot? All the fans left.
68. What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
69. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The “P” is silent.
70. What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious.
71. Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice.
72. What do you call a bear with no socks? Barefoot.
73. Why did the belt get locked up? It was holding up a pair of pants.
74. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
75. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
76. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
77. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
78. What do you call a pony with a cough? A little hoarse.
79. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
80. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
81. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
82. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
83. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? It was two-tired.
84. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
85. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
86. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
87. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
88. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
89. Why don’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
90. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
91. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She’ll let it go.
92. What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
93. Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
94. What do you call a line of rabbits jumping backward? A receding hare-line.
95. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
96. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
97. Why did the invisible man turn down the job? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
98. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
99. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
100. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
101. Why did the stadium get hot? All the fans left.
102. What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
103. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The “P” is silent.
104. What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious.
105. Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice.
106. What do you call a bear with no socks? Barefoot.
107. Why did the belt get locked up? It was holding up a pair of pants.
108. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
109. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
110. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
111. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
112. What do you call a pony with a cough? A little hoarse.
113. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
114. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
115. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
116. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
117. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? It was two-tired.
118. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
119. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
120. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
121. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
122. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
123. Why don’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
124. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
125. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She’ll let it go.

Mom Jokes: The Teasing Queens

Mom jokes are all about that witty, loving roast—sassy, relatable, and with a side of guilt (the good kind). They’re the humor that comes from years of watching you grow (or not). Here’s 125 mom jokes to even the score:

1. Why don’t moms use coupons? They already know how to clip your wings.
2. What’s a mom’s favorite exercise? Running out of patience.
3. Why did the mom bring string to the party? To tie up loose ends.
4. What do you call a mom who’s always right? Mom—duh.
5. Why don’t moms play hide and seek? They always find your mess.
6. What’s a mom’s superpower? Guilt-tripping with one look.
7. Why did the mom go to art school? To master the guilt portrait.
8. What do you call a mom’s advice? Unskippable wisdom.
9. Why don’t moms like surprises? They’ve seen your report card.
10. What’s a mom’s favorite song? Baby One More Time (to clean up).
11. Why did the mom join a band? To conduct family chaos.
12. What do you call a mom’s cooking? Love with a side of judgment.
13. Why don’t moms watch horror movies? They’ve seen you eat.
14. What’s a mom’s favorite game? Guess What I Told You Last Week.
15. Why did the mom become a detective? To solve your mystery stains.
16. What do you call a mom’s hug? Suffocatingly sweet.
17. Why don’t moms like fast food? It’s not homemade guilt.
18. What’s a mom’s favorite book? How to Raise Them Right (Again).
19. Why did the mom go to the gym? To lift your expectations.
20. What do you call a mom’s shopping? Guilt-buying spree.
21. Why don’t moms sleep in? They’re up worrying about you.
22. What’s a mom’s favorite dance? The Dishes shuffle.
23. Why did the mom start a garden? To grow on you.
24. What do you call a mom’s laundry? Endless cycle.
25. Why don’t moms like jokes? They’re already the punchline.
26. What’s a mom’s favorite movie? The Pursuit of Happyness (for you).
27. Why did the mom learn yoga? To stretch her patience.
28. What do you call a mom’s calendar? Color-coded chaos.
29. Why don’t moms watch TV? They’re directing the real show.
30. What’s a mom’s favorite holiday? Mother’s Day—duh.
31. Why did the mom go to therapy? To unpack your childhood.
32. What do you call a mom’s car? Taxi to everywhere.
33. Why don’t moms like vacations? They miss controlling the thermostat.
34. What’s a mom’s favorite app? Find My Kids (forever).
35. Why did the mom join TikTok? To dance around your lies.
36. What do you call a mom’s phone? Nagging device.
37. Why don’t moms binge Netflix? They’re binging your life stories.
38. What’s a mom’s favorite workout? Chasing grandkids.
39. Why did the mom buy a puzzle? To piece your excuses together.
40. What do you call a mom’s diet? Emotional eating.
41. Why don’t moms like puzzles? They’re already solving you.
42. What’s a mom’s favorite book? Parenting for Dummies (irony).
43. Why did the mom go to the beach? To sandwich you between sunscreen applications.
44. What do you call a mom’s playlist? Nostalgia torture.
45. Why don’t moms like horror? They’ve seen your room.
46. What’s a mom’s favorite emoji? 😡 (with love).
47. Why did the mom learn coding? To debug your life.
48. What do you call a mom’s vacation? Mom-cation—kids stay home.
49. Why don’t moms like surprises? They’ve seen your grades.
50. What’s a mom’s favorite quote? “Because I said so.”
51. Why did the mom buy a camera? To capture your lies.
52. What do you call a mom’s cooking? Love with leftovers.
53. Why don’t moms run marathons? They’re already running the house.
54. What’s a mom’s favorite animal? Guinea pig—testing your limits.
55. Why did the mom go to the gym? To lift your spirits (and grades).
56. What do you call a mom’s diary? Evidence locker.
57. Why don’t moms like fiction? They’ve got enough fiction from you.
58. What’s a mom’s favorite game? 20 Questions (about your whereabouts).
59. Why did the mom join a book club? To read between your lines.
60. What do you call a mom’s Wi-Fi? Mom-itoring network.
61. Why don’t moms like mysteries? They’ve solved you.
62. What’s a mom’s favorite hobby? Interrogating with love.
63. Why did the mom buy a telescope? To spot your lies.
64. What do you call a mom’s advice? Undeniable wisdom.
65. Why don’t moms like magic tricks? They see through illusions.
66. What’s a mom’s favorite superpower? X-ray vision for your excuses.
67. Why did the mom go to art class? To draw boundaries.
68. What do you call a mom’s laugh? Contagious judgment.
69. Why don’t moms like board games? They always win.
70. What’s a mom’s favorite season? Nag-tumn.
71. Why did the mom buy a map? To navigate your life.
72. What do you call a mom’s phone bill? Emotional investment.
73. Why don’t moms like puzzles? They’re already piecing your life together.
74. What’s a mom’s favorite flower? Tulip about your day.
75. Why did the mom learn French? To say non more elegantly.
76. What do you call a mom’s calendar? Guilt planner.
77. Why don’t moms like comedy? They’re the punchline.
78. What’s a mom’s favorite dessert? Guilt pudding.
79. Why did the mom buy a clock? To time your lies.
80. What do you call a mom’s hug? Suffocatingly sweet.
81. Why don’t moms like surprises? They’ve seen your laundry.
82. What’s a mom’s favorite movie? The Pursuit of Happyness (for you).
83. Why did the mom join yoga? To stretch her patience.
84. What do you call a mom’s diet? Emotional eating.
85. Why don’t moms like fiction? They’ve got enough from you.
86. What’s a mom’s favorite game? Guess What I Told You Last Week.
87. Why did the mom become a detective? To solve your mystery stains.
88. What do you call a mom’s car? Taxi to everywhere.
89. Why don’t moms watch horror movies? They’ve seen your room.
90. What’s a mom’s favorite book? Parenting for Dummies (irony).
91. Why did the mom go to the beach? To sandwich you between sunscreen applications.
92. What do you call a mom’s playlist? Nostalgia torture.
93. Why don’t moms binge Netflix? They’re binging your life stories.
94. What’s a mom’s favorite workout? Chasing grandkids.
95. Why did the mom buy a puzzle? To piece your excuses together.
96. What do you call a mom’s diary? Evidence locker.
97. Why don’t moms like mysteries? They’ve solved you.
98. What’s a mom’s favorite hobby? Interrogating with love.
99. Why did the mom buy a camera? To capture your lies.
100. What do you call a mom’s advice? Undeniable wisdom.
101. Why don’t moms like magic tricks? They see through illusions.
102. What’s a mom’s favorite superpower? X-ray vision for your excuses.
103. Why did the mom go to art class? To draw boundaries.
104. What do you call a mom’s laugh? Contagious judgment.
105. Why don’t moms like board games? They always win.
106. What’s a mom’s favorite season? Nag-tumn.
107. Why did the mom buy a map? To navigate your life.
108. What do you call a mom’s phone bill? Emotional investment.
109. Why don’t moms like puzzles? They’re already piecing your life together.
110. What’s a mom’s favorite flower? Tulip about your day.
111. Why did the mom learn French? To say non more elegantly.
112. What do you call a mom’s calendar? Guilt planner.
113. Why don’t moms like comedy? They’re the punchline.
114. What’s a mom’s favorite dessert? Guilt pudding.
115. Why did the mom buy a clock? To time your lies.
116. What do you call a mom’s hug? Suffocatingly sweet.
117. Why don’t moms like surprises? They’ve seen your laundry.
118. What’s a mom’s favorite movie? The Pursuit of Happyness (for you).
119. Why did the mom join yoga? To stretch her patience.
120. What do you call a mom’s diet? Emotional eating.
121. Why don’t moms like fiction? They’ve got enough fiction from you.
122. What’s a mom’s favorite game? 20 Questions (about your whereabouts).
123. Why did the mom become a detective? To solve your mystery stains.
124. What do you call a mom’s car? Taxi to everywhere.
125. Why don’t moms watch horror movies? They’ve seen your room.

The Verdict: Who’s Funnier?

Dad jokes are the kings of cringe—predictable, punny, and perfect for eye-rolls. Mom jokes win the wit war with sassy, relatable burns that hit home (literally). But let’s be real: the family that roasts together, stays together. Who’s funnier in your house? Drop your vote in the comments—or better yet, share your best dad or mom joke!

Bonus Content: More Family Humor

5 Dad vs Mom Joke Showdowns

1. Dad: “Why don’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.”
   Mom: “Why don’t skeletons fight? Because they’re already dead inside.”
2. Dad: “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.”
   Mom: “What do you call a fake noodle? Dinner when you cook.”
3. Dad: “Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.”
   Mom: “Why did the scarecrow win? Because he was the only one not stuffing around.”
4. Dad: “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.”
   Mom: “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Yours, after I buy it.”
5. Dad: “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? It was two-tired.”
   Mom: “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? Because you never learned to ride it right.”

5 Tips for Family Roast Battles

1. Keep It Light: Tease, don’t wound—aim for laughs, not tears.
2. Know Your Audience: Tailor to each person’s humor style.
3. Take Turns: Fair play—alternate roasts.
4. End with Love: Hug it out after the burns.
5. Record It: For legendary family lore.

Conclusion

Dad jokes and mom jokes are the unsung heroes of family humor—cringe, clever, and full of love. With 250+ to choose from, you’ll never run out of material. Who’s the funnier parent in your life? Share your favorites below!

FAQs

• Q. Are these jokes family-friendly?
  Yes! All clean, wholesome fun for all ages.
• Q. Which is better, dad or mom jokes?
  Depends on your family—dad for puns, mom for sass!
• Q. Can I use these at parties?
  Absolutely! “Why don’t moms like surprises? They’ve seen your laundry” is a crowd-pleaser.
• Q. How do I make my own jokes?
  Start with a pun or observation—twist it with love.
• Q. More jokes?
  Check our guides for 500+ dad jokes and mom roasts!